Sometimes we find ourselves in conflicts with others and we just give up. We think, “This is too hard, the other won’t change, I can’t fix this.”

But other times we decide that the relationship and the issues are just too important to give up on. We decide to engage the other, the one with whom we find ourselves in conflict, in a conversation.

When the other cares about us as well, is aware of the problem and interested in repairing it, and engages in the conversation we find that we can actually hear the other’s point of view. We don’t agree. We each have our own perspective. But we come to understand how the other came to see things the way they do and we are able to state our opinion such that they get us as well.

Out of this we find there are certain things we both need. We don’t have to see things in the same way to work together to create what we both need. We have an agreement. We each make commitments to create the common good.

And when we do this, we discover that the relationship is even stronger than it was before we became aware of the conflict.

The crux of the matter, the cross, is whether we decide to not give up but to address the issue. This rests on our confidence in our competence when it comes to the resolution of conflict. If you want to build your confidence, join us in the Peacemaker Fellowship.